I'm not wordy. I'm concise. My teachers always praised me for my conciseness. Wordy people were, to me, people who couldn't properly put their thoughts into words. And I don't like being told something over and over in different ways. But that is often the way novels are done. The reader is reminded of things. Things are mentioned and described again and again where appropriate. But I don't know how to be wordy. *sigh* I detest wordiness.

I would feel like a moron restating things. I'd likely restate them in the wrong place(s). I've always thought that the better author is the one who relays the most information in the least amount of words. I feel like I have to dumb myself down. I feel like I would be disrespectful to my audience by being too simple and . . . wordy.

I used to like Salvation. I at least thought it was decent. Now I hate it. I loathe putting up chapters at ff.net. I dread my Wednesday schedule, which I'm trying to hold to. I'm ashamed of this fic. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself since it was my first, after all.

But it's had so many alterations since I had a bad beta reader when I began it. This person gave me horrible advice. I knew it sounded wrong then, but I decided to have faith in her and changed my story repeatedly.

Then, in a cruel twist of the knife, one day I found a poorly veiled theme or scene or idea of mine in one of her latest chapters or stories. The first time it happened, I gave her the benefit of my doubt. The second time it happened confirmed it. I stopped sending her chapters to beta. Whether or not it was intentional on her part, I don't know. I never raised the issue. I held my tongue to keep the peace, changed my story so no one could say that I was the plagiarist, and simply stopped sending her chapters one day.

And I'm not the only one she did that to. When she no longer had my work to alter, she apparently got material from others. What sucked was that I knew better than to accuse this person. She had done too many favors for too many people. She was too popular to confront, and my evidence wasn't compelling enough. Even when she outright, word-for-word copied me in another forum, what could I do?

Anyway . . . Salvation is like a Frankenstein's monster. It's been ripped and resewn so many times in so many different places that one more alteration would likely destroy it. It was going to be a really good fic, too.

Salvation grew from bad advice that I foolishly took, and so many original ideas that were meant to fit the story had to be changed or removed. I don't even know what they were anymore. I needed those plot points. I didn't need them to turn up in one of my beta reader's stories where it didn't even have much meaning. What was needed in my story would become just an interesting side-note in hers. It was maddening.

What I'd like a writer to get from this are these words of advice: Be careful in selecting a beta reader. Try to use someone you know won't screw you over. If their advice ever sounds wrong, it likely is. Use your own judgement before any other. And be extra careful when your beta reader writes from the same show/movie/book that you do. You could be handing over your unique ideas. And if you publicly accused them, what do you think would happen? What proof would you really have? And when that other writer buried you in a mountain of doubt in your character and honesty, what would that do your position or status among others of the fandom? Takes steps to protect yourself and your work.